Take time for training. – Vicki Hoefle
The topics of spoiled children, hovering moms, and excessive micromanagement were popular in this summer’s headlines. Duct Tape Parenting‘s timing couldn’t have been better! Now that many of you have had some time to read, process and begin to implement strategies and thinking from the book, we thought we’d share articles and books by OTHER experts who make a case for training kids or who offer valuable thoughts, stats and info on success, spoiling, hovering and so forth.
While each author has individual opinions that may or may not be exactly in line with Duct Tape Parenting, there is one thread that ties them together: it’s not healthy for our children’s independence, resiliency, decision-making and so forth when mom and dad DO EVERYTHING for the kids. [hr]
How Spoiled Are Our Children? No Simple Answer By Perri Klass, M.D.
“We’re clearly having another of those moments — and they do recur, across the generations — when parents worry that they’re not doing their job and that the next generation is consequently in grave danger. In cultural convulsions about how spoiled the children are, disapproving adults look back fondly on the rigors of their own childhoods.” Read the NYT post, here.
Raising Successful Children By Madeline Levine
“The happiest, most successful children have parents who do not do for them what they are capable of doing, or almost capable of doing; and their parents do not do things for them that satisfy their own needs rather than the needs of the child.” Read the NYT post, here.
Father’s Day Advice From Billionaires: How To Not Raise Spoiled Kids
Read the Forbes post, here
Stop Spoiling Your Kids By Dr Phil
“Your primary job as a parent is to prepare your child for how the world really works. In the real world, you don’t always get what you want. You will be better able to deal with that as an adult if you’ve experienced it as a child.” – Dr Phil
Spoiled Rotten: Why do kids rule the roost? By Elizabeth Kolbert
“With the exception of the imperial offspring of the Ming dynasty and the dauphins of pre-Revolutionary France, contemporary American kids may represent the most indulged young people in the history of the world.” Read the New Yorker article, here.
Podcast Interview with Elizabeth Kolbert
Kolbert joins Michael Agger in a conversation about helicopter parents, getting your kids to clean their rooms, and the importance of ignoring your child. Listen to the podcast, here.
Raising Unspoiled Kids By Michele Borba
Let Them Stumble, and Learn to Get Back Up
“Part of our job as parents is to allow our children to experience life’s basic difficulties while they’re young. They practice sorting stuff out for themselves under our roof, while we can still comfort them, so that when the world spanks them, they’ve developed the internal stamina and resources to deal with it.” Read the post, here.
We’re Teaching Our Kids to Be Dependent By Denise Schipani
“More kids may be learning Mandarin, but fewer know how to look an adult in the eye, write a thank-you note, empty the dishwasher, handle a snow shovel – or cope with disappointment and grow stronger after failure.” Read the post, here.
How to Land Your Kid in Therapy by Lori Gottlieb (2011)
“The good news, at least according to Donald Winnicott, the influential English pediatrician and child psychiatrist, was that you didn’t have to be a perfect mother to raise a well-adjusted kid. You just had to be, to use the term Winnicott coined, a “good-enough mother.” – Read the post, here.
Guilty Parents, Ungrateful Kids, Easy Solution By Ann Hulbert
“The hypocrisy of hyperparenting isn’t great for anyone’s development. It turns mothers and fathers into anxious taskmasters. Eager to push their kids but panicked about too much pressure, they heap on the praise and fend off discomfort.” Read the article, here.
(Book) Mean Moms Rule: Why Doing the Hard Stuff Now Creates Good Kids Later by Denise Schipani
“And mean moms prepare their kids for the world, not the world for their kids, raising children into adults who know how to make themselves happy.” – See the book, here.
(Book) Slouching Toward Adulthood: Observations from the Not-So-Empty Nest By Sally Koslow
“Millions of American parents have sent their kids to college only to have them ricochet home with diplomas in one hand and DVR remotes in the other. Mom and Dad now sit down to dinner every night, wondering why their fully grown kids are joining them or, more likely, grunting good-bye as they head out for another night of who knows what.” Visit her site, here.
(Book) Teach Your Children Well: Parenting for Authentic Success By Madeline Levine, Ph.D.
“Teach Your Children Well acknowledges that every parent wants successful children. However, until we are clearer about our core values and the parenting choices that are most likely to lead to authentic, and not superficial, success, we will continue to raise exhausted, externally driven, impaired children who believe they are only as good as their last performance. Real success is always an inside job, argues Levine, and is measured not by today’s report card but by the people our children become fifteen or twenty years down the line.” Buy the book, here.
(Book) A Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting By Hara Estroff Marano
…”Kids would play in the street until their mothers hailed them for supper, and unless a child was called into the principal’s office, parents and teachers met only at organized conferences. Nowadays, parents are involved in every aspect of their children’s lives—even going so far as using technology to monitor what their kids eat for lunch at school and accompanying their grown children on job interviews. What is going on?” Find the book, here.
Podcast with Madeline Levine on how to ‘Teach Your Children Well’
Levine points out ways parents can nurture their children with other skills – a sense of self, being empathic and remembering to play – in addition to the intense grooming so valued for success in today’s cut-throat academic environment. Listen, here.
Opinion: Parents need to give kids space to grow By Madeline Levine
“We want to make certain that in uncertain times, our kids have a leg up. But here’s the irony: Our constant oversight, our over-parenting isn’t doing what we think it’s doing. Rather than giving our kids a leg up, it’s making them less resilient, less resourceful and less engaged with learning. In other words, over-parenting makes our kids less, not more, likely to succeed.” Read the article, here.
Founder Says Most Millennials Have No Idea What To Do Unless They’re Micromanaged
“Stepfan Jefferies, co-founder of uHAPS Media, says that Gen Y workers are “by far the hardest generation to manage” and calls it “Zombieland” when his workers aren’t “handed an exact list of to-dos and goals.” Read the article, here.