What is Less is More when Growing a Grownup?
A less is more approach to parenting focuses on developing and deepening the relationship between parents and kids without anyone feeling like a doormat or a dictator and ways for parents to foster independence and self-reliance which will help children grow and develop into emotionally healthy, engaged, … adults. This approach doesn’t offer quick fixes – and despite the catchy, irreverent name of her books – it is a serious parenting philosophy meant for the long haul.
How it Started
Vicki Hoefle discovered that she, like many parents, had become far too involved in her young children’s day-to-day affairs. She realized she was doing too much micromanaging, directing, lecturing and reminding in an attempt to keep all their lives moving forward peacefully. And in a moment of complete clarity, she realized that this style of parenting was:
- Creating MORE power struggles, not less
- no fun for anyone
- not helping her children become independent and self-sufficient
- making things worse with all the power struggles
When she finally decided to change her habits, she realized it was far more challenging than she ever anticipated. She found it very difficult to keep her mouth shut, step back and give her kids a chance to navigate their own lives (within reason of course). As a solution to her dilemma, she grabbed the Duct Tape and slapped it firmly over her mouth. This was how Duct Tape Parenting began. At the same time, she realized that parenting wasn’t about what happened when our kids are between 0 and 18, it’s about what happens for our kids between 18 and 80, in other words, parenting is about raising high functioning, emotionally healthy, adults.
Why this Approach?
Parents often reach for a parenting book when they are feeling vulnerable and frustrated. Most parenting books simply offer a “quick fix” strategy that, in the end, further alienates their children and leaves them feeling even more discouraged.
A Less is More Approach does not offer any quick fixes. Instead, it focuses on sustainable habits leading toward progress and improvement. It is centered around: supporting and fostering strong relationships between all family members; raising independent, self sufficient children; creating a family atmosphere that foster cooperation, empathy and joy. The approach not only accepts, but embraces, the idea that change happens over time.
In this presentation, Vicki identifies some of the biggest parenting obstacles and how parents can “clear away the clutter” and create clarity that will guide their family for years. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all magic solution that will lead you into bliss but there is a one-sized-feels-awesome for-all outcome: a happy, stable family with children who can think for themselves and parents who can turn the lights out at the end of the day and say, I feel good about where we’re headed.
Bottom line, parents play a huge role in the dynamics of the family. Vicki provides insight as to why all the over parenting, nagging, hovering, helicopter parenting, etc. is not working out for you or your child. Instead she presents what does work with easy-to-remember solutions like: Quit your job as the maid, DO not feed the weeds, Take time for training, and so on.
If you would like to hire Vicki, have a conversation or ask us some questions, please contact us. We would love to talk with you.