What I’ve noticed is that almost all parents who ask this question have 3 things in common:
- They don’t have a strategy. (At least not a strategy that provides direction and a goal.)
- They have big fat, false fears about what will happen if their child does not turn in homework! (Stay back a grade, flunk out of college, lose scholarship opportunities, become a slacker, etc.)
- They sense this could be a growing problem, which is why they want to nip it in the bud. (They don’t like the idea of being the homework police and I don’t blame them).
The Truth is
The homework is not your problem and the only one who can learn to “fix” homework issues is your child. The teacher is who your child can turn to for homework help.
Rick Ackerly, a 45-year veteran and thought leader in the field of Education says (about homework help),
“When you care about it more than your child, it absolves the child of responsibility.”
In his recent post (a title inspired by the wise words of a 7 year old), Overparenting? Why Do Grownups Have to Take Over? he guides parents through various feelings and beliefs they have about homework help. He also shares a story that I believe will hit home for the majority of our readers who are still struggling with their over-parenting tendencies. In the post, he says to a couple of well-meaning parents,
“Right now, (your son) doesn’t have to do any learning, because you are doing all the work. Your anxiety is a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
So, Are YOU worried about your child’s schoolwork? Are you the one obsessing over grades? Are you looking for better ways to communicate with your child’s teachers? Would you like to learn more about changing the quality vs. the quantity of your school-related parenting? If yes, there are two places to start!
Up Next: What I said to my children’s teachers that made everything a win-win-win for the kids, the teachers and myself!